Queer eye for the Straight Guy & Fashion Faux Pas

Madison
was agape.

”You would consider a makeover?!” She questioned again, when
that.. that shrew stepped in. “Actually” Madison found herself responding “I
know the perfect lifestyle crew to make you over; the Queer eye for the Straight
Guy team.” She added with a flourish. “Every woman admires a home-team male’s
taste in designer goods, hairstyles, clothing, grooming, culture, the whole
works. In fact, consistently, gay men seem to have much better appearances and
lifestyles that are attractive to females then straight.” She gestured to the
bunker behind her. “It would make a fantastic magazine piece, and of course
you’d be getting designer goods, entirely for free. I’d reckon, for a magazine
and television deal, hmm, I’m sure I can raise easily $500,000. How does that
sound? Cool on a budget.” She added with a smirk.

Then of course ~she~
had to step in.

”Actually darling, the watch is a fashion faux pas. It’s
ugly. And everyone knows that mobile phones can be discreetly tucked away into a
luxury purse. However, the watch is ugly, ear buds and all. The company actually
withdrew several of their lines after my magazine’s review of it. So, barring
that bit of grunge, the next  best
thing IS their last year’s model. And that, is what is.” She flicked her hair
arrogantly.

”But of course I’m sure you don’t read my magazine.” She
glanced up and down the poor girl meaningfully. “Would ~you~ like a
complimentary makeover as well? I’m sure we could even do a matching feature.
Make you over, and make Byron over. A him vs her makeover.” She added with a
rather shark-like grin. “You see darling, I am one of the biggest voices in the
fashion industry. I snap my fingers, and it happens. I can be your faerie
godmother. Would you like that? Couture Versace? No problem.” She added with a
sly grin. “It’s the chance to be princess and be dressed up in every beautiful
frock imaginable – and be able to keep it afterwards.”

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