Byron and Melissa: at least there hasn’t been a shower scene yet…

Melissa had heard what he said, but it didn’t matter, the damage had already been done. She hurried up to the kitchen to make cocoa as she had offered to do as she measured out enough milk and set a saucepan on the stove to start it heating.

She felt like being lazy this time and actually using the powdered cocoa mix, but she still needed to wait for the milk to get to a proper temperature before anything else could happen. So she pulled out the cinnamon sticks and whipped cream while she waited in order to distract herself and keep herself busy so nothing embarrassing occurred.

Byron made his way up stairs away from Madison. He had to have a little chat with Melissa. He would not be nearly as harsh with her as he was with Madison for in his opinion he felt Melissa, in her own way, was defending his honor. Still, he could not have her jumping down the throats of his guests. Even a guest that was acting more the role of a pest.

He checked in the living room. No sign of her. Then he started for the bedroom before coming to a stop. Though he heard no sound to alert him, Byron turned and headed for the Kitchen. Melissa had mentioned making herself some coca. She had to be in there.

He stepped into the Kitchen and stopped his quarry. As expected she was in the midst of brewing coca. He offered a thin smile and moved next to her. “Mind making me some? I could use something to relax me about now.”

“I was planning to do so.” She said softly as she pulled out the grinder for the cinnamon sticks. “There is plenty for Madison too if she cares to have some.” she offered in a tone a little above a whisper as she went back to grinding the sticks.

It was a long time before the click of metal onto the counter signified she was done and she turned to look at him. “Look, before you say anything else, I’m very sorry for the way I acted. I was trying hard to remain tacit and calm but… there is something about her that just… pushed my buttons.” she explained. “I know that is no excuse and I will do better in the future.” she told him before swallowing nervously and turning to stir the milk so it didn’t stick to the pan.

Melissa has done it again. She had anticipated his every move. From his desiring a cup of coco to his wanting to offer up a mild scolding for her behavior. The woman was frustrating indeed. Almost magical in her ability never be heard and to know what he was thinking before he could offer and utterance. That said, she was correct in her surmise. She was out of line as was Madison. They needed to have a little sit down these two and overcome the problems that had arisen. He would suggest it, but known Melissa, she
knew what was coming in advance.

“Why not go ask her if she’ll have some.” Byron said quickly. “We’re going to be stuck here several days together. I’d rather it be cordial rather then us at each others throats.”

He leaned on a nearby counter top as he spoke. The smell of the cocoa was refreshing to his senses. As he waited for it to finish he glanced out the window. The storm was raging. Close to a foot had fallen already and double perhaps triple that was on the way. He was getting the sinking feeling no matter how diplomatic he tried to be, he was going stuck in the role of lion tamer with two extremely willful and feral lionesses for the next several
days. And he without his whip and chair. This could get ugly.

“I will.” she offered gently as she looked over at him before she started adding the powder to the milk. “But… before I do, could I… ask you something?” she said softly as she looked over at him. “Did you… mean what you said to Madison?” her voice was soft, and was barely heard at all. “That… you really don’t love her anymore because she was acting like that?” She swallowed and looked up at him uncomfortably. “Because you really should be with someone who cares about you and won’t ask you to change your lifestyle too much.” she explained gently, wondering if he’d catch the subtle hint… but she sincerely doubted that he would.

Byron was pondering the next few days locked away in this snow covered cage with these two feuding females. Needless to say it would not be a pretty sight. He had visions of himself caught between the two as they waged war over their respective disagreements. He knew Madison. She was overly self-confident like himself. She had opinions bursting to come out and she would not let Byron or anyone stop her no matter what was said. She was going to push her beliefs and desires for all they were worth. Just as he, Byron tended too.

Melissa was the more mellow of the two but if pushed, Byron was certain she could be a handful. It was those quiet ones you had to worry about. Every late night slasher film he had ever seen had proved that. Norman Bates, Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Ed Guine, Lizzy Borden. All were either soft-spoken or utterly silent. But if you got their hackles up, they looked at you like a virgin at a Aztec sacrificial ritual. And who knew what could set
them into crazy mode? One minute Melissa could be stirring coco, the next she could be running around in a three cornered hat and a powdered wig.

He chuckled suddenly as the absurdity of this line of thought. What was he thinking? Meek Melissa being that way? Impossible. Besides, even if that were true it would take more than a noisy house guest to set her off. Normally there was a deep catalyst involved. Normally it was something extreme like unrequited love and the addition that the person those feeling were held for was suddenly being removed from reach. Minus such a reactive agent, no worries existed, at least to Byron’s way of thinking.

He glanced into the living room at that moment by chance and his eyes happened on his DVD collection. He was really watching to many of those slasher flicks, he mused. He was starting to think like a actor in one of them. Maybe his mother was right. Maybe after a while they did rot your brain. A slight smile began to cross his face but faded as he noticed one of the films was partly pulled out from the others, as if someone had been
examining it closely. He looked closer and saw the title. ‘The chamber maid massacre.’ Yes, he watched that one evening after Melissa went home a couple of weeks ago. She spotted it out the next morning and asked to borrow it for her nephew, or someone close to her. She must have brought it back today.

He suddenly found himself recalling the plot. A young soft spoken maid working in a hotel falls for the handsome owner and kills off anyone she considers a romantic interest. Later she turns on him when it becomes apparent he does return her love.

The wheels in Byron’s mind began to turn in the obvious, paranoid direction. He glanced at Melissa for a long moment while she was busy preparing his cocoa. Could she be a lady bluebeard under that mild exterior? He thought it over and grinned in a slightly embarrassed manner. Of course not. Just because someone was quiet, somewhat repressed and moved with the stealth of a cat burglar did not mean they were a raving madwoman ready to shove a knife in your back. Or even the back of your comely houseguest. Most damning to this moronic theory was the fact Melissa was not in love with him. She had no interest in him other than that of an employee and good friend. With absence of such an intense feeling as unrequited love there could be no
underlying lunacy.

Silently, Byron was berating himself when Melissa spoke the words that made his bones cold.

“Did you…mean what you said to Madison? That… you really don’t love her
anymore because she was acting like that? Because you really should be with
someone who cares about you and won’t ask you to change your lifestyle too
much.”

His jaw dropped. It was almost a line for line comment from the chamber maid massacre. The maid asked this of the hotel manager the scene before she stole a butcher knife from the kitchen and sliced his visiting ex-girlfriend to shreds. Good lord! Melissa had gone round the bend. Too Cuckoo land. She was secretly in love with him and now was working up to getting rid of the competition. MADISON! He had to think of something fast.

“Uh…well…..of course you’re right, Melissa. And…uh….no…I don’t love Madison. I….uh….I should find someone who won’t try to change me. Promise I will. Yes….exactly. I won’t be changed. Never. Uh…excuse me. I’ll be right back.”

He slipped into the living the room, making a beeline for the phone. He had to get the police here at once before Melissa cracked up on him. He picked up the receiver but the line was dead. The storm? Or had Melissa cut the line. Good lord what now? Madison and her stupid cellular phone. She could get help. Hopefully it had not broken when it hit the floor before. Madison said it was fine but who could tell? He had to reach her make the call for help. Now more than ever. Because he just realized he made a serious mistake. He left Melissa alone in the kitchen, with the butcher knife!

“Byron. I saw you eying the movies… I’m not a slasher. I have no plans to kill you or Madison. The line has been dead for the last half an hour… I think the electricity will be next. I’ve got a bunch of candles ready for warmth and light… unless you wanted to take advantage of the shelter?” she asked him gently. She moved easily back into the kitchen with a soft sigh and took the froth building up in the pan as a sign that the milk was warm and the cocoa was ready. She then pulled down three mugs and filled them each before adding whipped cream and a little more cinnamon on top.

Melissa then took one of the mugs out to Byron. “I’m not going to pursue anything you don’t want. I promise you that.” she said softly. “No hard feelings. I’m in a good place and I don’t want to ruin that.” But he hadn’t heard a word of it. She realized that as she turned around and saw that he’d run off…. Fabulous. She’d really made a mess of things.

Byron on the rampage

He listened to Madison attempt to overwhelm Melissa with her fashion flair. Frankly, he was disgusted but not surprised. It was a typical response from the new overly commercialized, Madison. A woman with values that began at Fendi and ended with Manolo Blahnik. Byron found it a pathetic and unworthy manner of expression. Perhaps bringing Madison here was not such a great idea after all. Even Melissa, who Byron long maintained could be given a hotfoot and not complain was finding Madison’s rants impossible to deal with. And yet, Melissa’s comments seemed to be fueled by more than Madison and her shallowness. But what that something was eluded Byron at this time.
What did not elude him was that fact this rush of rage between these shrieking sirens was growing intolerable. Clearly, it would need the steady, guiding hand of the stronger sex to bring this arguement to a close. Logic and ploys had not work before. It was time for Byron to stand firm.

“D&G, Prada and Gucci.” He said to Madison. “Oh my word. We can’t have a world without those now can me? People might conentrate on important issues. Really Madison I find your attitude most unbecoming. Since when is does name dropping prove a point? In truth nobody cares if magic fairies spun your clothing from golden silk or turned a burlap sack into your oh so stylish purse. Good lord woman, you’re better than that. What happened to the clever, witty girl that poked fun at people who attempted to keep up with
the Jones, as it were? Did she drown in a Cacharel perfume bottle at Madame Soels? Grow up my dear and please stop attempting to impress us with your wealth and position in society. Frankly, we are not impressed.” He spoke loud enough for Melissa to hear despite her leaving the room. Then glancing back at Madison he said. “I apologize. I wanted you here because I care for you and thought maybe that girl I once loved so deeply was still
inside you. I see she has been replaced with spoiled drone that lives to impress and humble those around with her knowlegde of what is hot in contemporary society. It is a sad devolving of a once wonderful persona. You’ll be here a few more days. No Ritz for you, rich girl. Unless it comes from a cracker box. Deal with it.”

He then moved upstairs after Melissa. She was hurt obviously by Madison’s ravings but she was not going to get off scott free. Byron was not going to have this bickering for the duration. He came to Melissa’s door and knocked. He had let his guest have it, so to speak. Now it was time to straighten out the staff.

Melissa – defeated…

It was not true at all!  She had mentioned the big, marketable names but had failed to recognize that the magazine she spoke of deals with design houses… not imitation or even production.  Pure, raw, talent, design, and fashion… something Madison clearly knew nothing about.

But as she continued her tirade, she felt more and more like an innocent puppy being struck by a stick and nearly flinching with every distinct punctuation made until finally her hands started coming up to protect her.  

“You are being unreasonable…”  she offered gently.  “It’s not that bad here…”  she pointed out as she shrunk back.  There just was no way of dealing with this woman!  Whatever Byron saw in her, she simply had no idea.
 
“I’m just… I’m going to go make some cocoa.”  she offered before quickly retreating the room in case the tears that were burning her eyes started to spill over.

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Madison, Madison.. wherefore art thou Madison?

Madison sputtered and looked at her rival with slitted eyes.
“THAT magazine is nothing but cheap end tack. They don’t even propperly cover the different fashion houses; D&G, Prada, or Gucci. They focus on more.. cheap stuff. Imitation” She practically sneered, watching Melissa retreat into her shell once more, her eyebrow raised, distinctly not impressed. “And what do you suggest we do in the meantime? Play happy familys? Pretend like everything is perfect? Well it’s not! I’m stuck ~here~ rather then be in the Ritz.”

She swung around and looked at Byron

“And I bet anything that he had a hand in this.. trapping me here. Melissa; how long ago did the weather forcast over here call for snow?” She asked, her voice sachrine sweet. “Was it predicting a blizzard say, yesterday? The day before? the day before? Hmm?”

Her eyes met Byrons as she waited patiently for the answer, or for him to confess his sins.

Her hand went to her hip, and she even went as far as to tap a toe on the ground, impatiently waiting for an answer.

“Well Melissa?”

Byron Forbes was at an impasse. With the sudden arrivial of Melissa into the mix things began heating up to a boil. He watched the two ladies going at it, surprised how heated the conversation became. It seemed to be reaching the boiling point quickly. He tried to calm them down with repeated unsuccessful attempts to inject himself into the discussion.

 “Now Melissa I…Now Madison I’m not sure that…Is the snow getting….But Madison….Surely Melissa that’s understating….Really Madison there’s no need to be…” And so it went.

 He stopped speaking as the two shot thinly veiled barbs back and forth at each other. Obviously, reason did not apply. That became increasingly apparent as his Byron’s eyes darted from one woman as they spoke. It was rather like watching a competitive tennis match. Madison served up a stinging remark and Melissa returned a witty down the line volley retort. Madison hit a harshly stated verbal cross court passing shot. Melissa flipped a well stated drop shot return keeping the ball in play. It was an amazing scene to behold. If Byron were not witnessing it for free, he would have paid money to observe this. The two women were fighting over him. And what a furious action packed battle it had become. All that was needed was mud and bikinis. Or perhaps loincloth skirts and clubs. Too the winner went the spoils. He assumed he was that prize. He moved away slowly to avoid getting personally embroiled.

 Byron was not certain how that sat with him. Too be reduced to a mere bit of prime feed for two squabbling hens to war over was not the most flattering of prospects. Still, being the object of two womens attention and perhaps desire, now that Byron enjoyed.

 But alas like all good things the show came to end as Melissa interjected reason into the discussion.

 I think that is an excellent suggestion, Melissa. We can discuss this later. It appears from what Melissa is saying about the snow fall, we shall have plenty of time talk the matter over and perhaps reach a reasonable conclusion.

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Onward into battle!

“Don’t do it.”  Melissa found herself responding as she crossed her arms over her chest.  “Yes, it’s a wonderful deal to get a lot of free stuff, but in the mean time, you’ll turn yourself into one of those… people that cares for nothing but what other people think of them…”  she turned to regard him carefully.  “You’ll be a sellout.  And you aren’t.  You are Byron Forbes the recluse writer that typically won’t leave the house because you aren’t keen on people.  Putting you in a magazine and on television is an open invite for people to contact you.  You won’t have a moment’s peace again.”  she pointed out as she looked back to Madison.

“My sister is editor of Eye on Fashion.  I keep up.  Doesn’t mean I like it or implement it.  The watch was only a Faux Pas in a select region of the world.  Yours.  It’s all the rage here, Japan, and oddly enough India. Get off your high horse.”  she said, before shaking her head a little. 

There was a long pause before Melissa brought her head up slowly.  “I honestly don’t want to fight with you.”  she said quietly, retreating more into her usual self.  “Especially not now… no one is getting out for a makeover or ANYTHING for a while until someone can plow us out of here.  I really suggest we just… table this discussion for now and find something else we can agree on?  Please?”

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Queer eye for the Straight Guy & Fashion Faux Pas

Madison
was agape.

”You would consider a makeover?!” She questioned again, when
that.. that shrew stepped in. “Actually” Madison found herself responding “I
know the perfect lifestyle crew to make you over; the Queer eye for the Straight
Guy team.” She added with a flourish. “Every woman admires a home-team male’s
taste in designer goods, hairstyles, clothing, grooming, culture, the whole
works. In fact, consistently, gay men seem to have much better appearances and
lifestyles that are attractive to females then straight.” She gestured to the
bunker behind her. “It would make a fantastic magazine piece, and of course
you’d be getting designer goods, entirely for free. I’d reckon, for a magazine
and television deal, hmm, I’m sure I can raise easily $500,000. How does that
sound? Cool on a budget.” She added with a smirk.

Then of course ~she~
had to step in.

”Actually darling, the watch is a fashion faux pas. It’s
ugly. And everyone knows that mobile phones can be discreetly tucked away into a
luxury purse. However, the watch is ugly, ear buds and all. The company actually
withdrew several of their lines after my magazine’s review of it. So, barring
that bit of grunge, the next  best
thing IS their last year’s model. And that, is what is.” She flicked her hair
arrogantly.

”But of course I’m sure you don’t read my magazine.” She
glanced up and down the poor girl meaningfully. “Would ~you~ like a
complimentary makeover as well? I’m sure we could even do a matching feature.
Make you over, and make Byron over. A him vs her makeover.” She added with a
rather shark-like grin. “You see darling, I am one of the biggest voices in the
fashion industry. I snap my fingers, and it happens. I can be your faerie
godmother. Would you like that? Couture Versace? No problem.” She added with a
sly grin. “It’s the chance to be princess and be dressed up in every beautiful
frock imaginable – and be able to keep it afterwards.”

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Voice of Reason : Melissa

“You aren’t… seriously considering a makeover, are you?” Mel commented as she finally reached the bottom of the stairs. “You of all people?” she shook her head a little. “You were really even considering selling out?” she said as she looked over at Madison. “And really, don’t go into all the wonders of your phone, it’s obviously last year’s model because you’re carrying it around. This year they came out with the same thing that fits around your wrist like a watch with an earbud.” she explained, trying to shut them both up.

“I really am sick of listening to the both of you argue like this. If I really thought I could leave… I would… but we’re really stuck.” she offered with a soft sigh. “Go look out the window if you don’t believe me, it’s covered most of the front door already.”

She rubbed her arms a little and looked between the both of them. “Honestly, I think we’re lucky to still have power.”

And then Murphy decided to wake up and the light’s flickered in response to her words. She sighed and shook her head. “Should I get a fire going in the fireplace?” she asked Byron gently. “We are obviously going to be here awhile so… we need to try and… not kill each other.” she pointed out as she looked over to Madison.

Byron (as posted by Linz)

Byron listened with amusement to the lengthy commentary from Madison. It
ranged from laughable to outright enjoyable. What was being relayed was a
text book example of one attempting to display her supposedly high social
status.
One wishing to gain the respect of others through materialism. Stylish hand
bags, high technology phones, designer clothes and diamond sprinkled
nail polish. Diamond polish for heaven sake! This was really to much. Byron
was starting to see what he dealing with here with Madison. An honest to
goodness eccentric. Madison was off her gord, as his mother would have
put it. Crackers. Loopy. wacko. Pick your term.

He was not concerned of course. The majority of the primate world was
the same way. Pathetic little beings who wanted to keep up with the Jones’,
as it were. Individuals coveting the possessions of their neighbor and
wanting
better one for themselves. My diamond ring is bigger than yours. My giant
flat screen
plasma screen TV is a 56″ inch and yours is only 52″. What a sad lot
the human race was proving to be. Would they never evolve?

Madison prattled on and Byron like a psychologist examinig the ravings of an
interesting patient listened closely, enthralled by her rambling testiments
to
materialism. It was all quite fascinating but finally he could hold his
tongue no longer.
He had to reply in his usual blunt style.

“I can see you now in my mind, showing off your fashion, phones and
finger nails to flocks of jealous females. I bet that makes you feel so
important. It must be wonderful showing up the other girls and having the
boys
flock to you like rutting moose.”

He had a host of other snide remarks ready to launch at his materalistic
target when Madison’s prattling struck a nerve. She wanted to make him over?
Change his entire image. His clothing, the layout and furnishings in his
home.
At first Byron was dead set against it.

“I have an interesting adversion to having my personal life invaded.
I prefer my private space not becoming the subject of talk around water
coolers over
beers on bar stools, Madison. I have no interest in such nonsense.” He
paused a moment
as she said the secert words that altered his opinion.

“You’ll pay people to do that? You mean it’s all free???” A smile crossed
his lips. The price was certainly right. “Perhaps I have been to hasty.
Maybe a makeover would suit me. And it would allow the world some further
insight into my lifestyle. It might even reach a few Troglodytes and make
them
better people.”

He nodded, suddenly on board with Madison’s notions. “Very well,
provided of course I have final say on all that is done.”

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Madison (As posted by Linz)

Madison didn’t back down from Byron’s rant, just the opposite. “why would
I need to fetch the paper, when I can download the news right onto the phone?” She rebutted elegantly “It can talk back, if I upgrade it, but the idea of a mobile with artificial intelligence is going a bit far, don’t you think Byron?”

She questioned, her tone far to saccharine to be genuine. She was deliberately setting the bait for him. “Taking a picture? Oh. Any old phone can do that. This can take video, edit, and stream it up to any website or email for instant distribution. Oh, Byron” She paused, fluttering her eyes at him. “You really DO need to get out more. Rad went out before I even exited high school. It is clear you’re not in with the slang. Perhaps if you spent a little more time in the society that you claim to loath and abhor so much, you might get a better insight into the world, and talk like someone in it.”

Yawning as in her mind she’d already won the battle she pointed to her phone again. “Oh I have a new Tulip laptop as well. If you can call it a laptop. It’s smaller then a conventional handbag. The outer casing is made from moulded plastic and finely ground diamonds. It’s even more expensive then my phone.” She stated, knowing that Byron hated materialistic conversations. “My nails are painted with a solution that also uses diamonds finely ground to add strength to the nail polish. At £50 a bottle, it’s quite exclusive, but worth every penny, I assure you dah-ling.” Madison displayed a fake Za-za accent.

“Now then. My clothing. Every bit designer. Nothing, and I do mean ~nothing~ that I wear would be plain, ordinary. Why? When you have only one life, why not make the best effort to look your best, and to look better then those around you?” She added with a smirk.

”After all, I am now of perfectly acceptable age for marriage in high society. After I leave here, I have a few events to attend. As Editor, it is not only my job to keep my eye on what society is wearing, but my finger firmly on society’s pulse. What is happening? Who is talking about what? What are people eating? Wearing? What perfumes do people prefer? It is a more grown up version of the girl’s bathroom at high school. A much more grown version, with millions hanging off every word that gets printed. I give a nod, and the new Armani dress is in. Or maybe it’s out. Either way, after a run in my magazine, most items quickly become as good as gold dust.” She explained, proud of her accomplishment.

”You see, Byron, I would like to do a piece featuring you in my magazine. I believe I can even take ~you~ and make you over, using a new wardrobe, a facial regime, top stylist and colourist, an elocutionist, and a lifestyle coach to turn you into someone that society would fawn over. You could even become the next big thing.” She added looking at him, her perfectly manicured eyebrows raised as she awaited an answer.

Interior design Byron? Hrmp. I pay people to do that. But.. that’s not such a bad idea. I mean, if you’re going to be in someplace for a long period of time, you might as well make it.. liveable yes? Instead of looking like the bunker it really is. I mean.. I’m not talking about any neo-fads like lime green sofas or bright neon chairs. But perhaps some tasteful decorations, a bit of home to the rather sterile environment.”